FOTP Correspondent, Inmate #56832, Scott McKinney

Scott McKinney, host of syndicated SEC radio show Southern Sports Tonight along with Max Howell, and recent member of the Florida Penal (Ed. Note: ha, penal) System, thanks to felony investment fraud, theft, and racketeering charges for stealing, allegedly, $140,000 from investors, comes to you live from the Okaloosa County Detention Center to break down the first round of the SEC Basketball Tournament in Atlanta for FOTP. 

LSU v. South Carolina

Two teams who have had disappointing seasons and are both led by lame duck coaches take the floor first today.  LSU, 2 years removed from a Final Four appearance, comes to Atlanta with little to play for.  The Gamecocks are led by lightening quick guard Devan Downey.  Their fortunes will rest squarely on his shoulders.  Speaking of fortunes, South Carolina’s Head Coach Dave Odom, who has already said he will resign at the end of the year, will receive a nice sum of money for doing so.  May I be the first to encourage Coach Odom to invest that money wisely.  Can I interest you in a ground level opportunity for ownership in a wildly popular, national radio show?  How does a 49% share sound?  McKinney prediction: LSU in a squeaker, financial windfall for Mr. Dave Odom.    

Auburn v. Vanderbilt

The ‘Dores are playing for NCAA tournament seeding; the Tigers are just playing out the string.  Vandy is led by SEC Player of the Year Shan Foster and a complimentary cast of better than average white guys.  Now that you mention complimentary white guys, I ran into a nice group of Caucasian gentlemen in the cafeteria today.  They all had the same haircuts, which I thought was neat.  They told me that they would take care of me and even gave me a nickname…Mary.  McKinney prediction: Vandy rolls, Arian Brotherhood membership by the end of the week.

Alabama v. Florida

Fresh off an overtime win against Vandy, Alabama faces NCAA hopeful Florida.  The Gators, last years National Champion, has a young and inexperienced cast.  A loss to a mediocre Bama team could all but dash their Big Dance hopes.  My gut here says take Bama in the upset but my cell mate (who looks strikingly like former Gator D’mitri “Da Meat Hook” Hill), who is holding a shiv to my gut, says take Florida.  McKinney prediction: Florida in a walk, possible forced intercourse in my cell later tonight.

Ole Miss v. Georgia

These two teams meet up for the second time in a week.  The Rebels came into Athens and won last Saturday and will likely need to beat the Dawgs again, and Kentucky on Friday, to make it into the Dance.  Watch for Duane Curtis in the interior for Ole Miss… much like I’ll be trying to watch my posterior today in the shower.  McKinney Prediction:  Ole Miss in a close one, other shower participants in a landslide.  

Scott McKinney is the host of Southern Sports Tonight and the developer of many pyramid schemes.  He can be reached by hand written letter or scheduled visitation.