You know how I know you’re a tool? You wear straw hats.
We and most of the SEC have always thought so. Apparently, so does the Altoona Curve minor league baseball team. On April 18, the Altoona Curve hosted a “Salute to Tools” night for their game against the Erie Seawolves:
In addition to apparatus-type tools, the human-type tools will also be featured on Friday. Former Miami Dolphins and current University of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban, who this year equated consecutive losses by his Alabama football team to Pearl Harbor and the September 11th Attacks, will be among the evening’s honorees.
Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer! How big of a “tool” do you have to be for an Altoona, PA minor league baseball team to honor you at a game? We expect a large number of LSU and Auburn alumni as well as Dolphins season ticket holders (if there is such a creature) in the stands. It is also rumored that Saban, who felt the NFL was just too tough or something like that, will also be honored at the upcoming “Salute to Quitters Night - If You Can’t Beat Them, Quit” on June 3. One can only imagine who will be honored for the upcoming “You Got Caught Night” [June 18] (insert Spitzer jokes here) and “Train Wreck Series - Ode to Fallen Stars” [August 6] (Amy Winehouse’s dealer to throw out the first pitch…probably).
Bunkie Perkins
Michael Medallion
18 responses so far ↓
Jorge // April 23, 2008 at 11:11 pm
What has this guy ever done other than squeaking into the BCS in 2003 against weak sister Choklahoma?
BC // April 24, 2008 at 2:01 am
I bet you are a jackoff Auburn fan.
Kevin Stafford // April 24, 2008 at 8:26 pm
and yet he managed to recruit the best class of 2008. So what did your “tool” of a coach do for your team (whoever they are)?
And let’s see….Saban’s Dolphins shut out the Patriots and missed the playoffs by one game. How’d Miami look after he left?
Yeah….keep trying. With the class Saban brought in last year (Julio Jones, Star Jackson, Glen Harbin, etc) - it’s a lock that he’ll win the SEC within 3 years.
Better get all your pathetic swipes in now while you can, because Saban’s set a course for victory that no one can stop.
hell, as a first year coach of a slumping program, all folks can do is point out the record - yet nobody could beat that weak ‘bama team by more than 6 points all year. Not Gawgia, not LSwho. No one. I’m betting they’re more than a little worried now that he’s bringing in blue chip talent. If he could play them that close with a bunch of bums learning a new system - imagine what he’ll do with blue chip recruits?
You’re right to be worried.
Scot // April 24, 2008 at 8:41 pm
ULM
Hawk // April 25, 2008 at 4:44 pm
kevin whips out the tried and true Tide comeback: “Wait til next year”, only with is trademarked, twist . “Wait until three years from now!”
Classic.
Marty // April 25, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Dear Kevin Stafford,
You asked “So what did your “tool” of a coach do for your team (whoever they are)?”
Thanks for asking. My coach won the SEC and National Championship.
Anything else?
Your friend,
Marty
LSU fan
P.S. ULM
Skillet // April 25, 2008 at 8:05 pm
kevin says its a lock that saban will win the SEC within three years well I FREAKIN HOPE SO you guys are paying him 4 gazillion dollars a day to coach, I would hope you get at least one conference title out of four years. Geez Mike Shula won 10 games and beat ULM 41-7 while Saban got beat — again - by a rent-a-win. Isn’t Saban like 57-51 outside of LSU? doesn’t look real good there kevin. when Saban goes 7-5 or 6-6 again this year you guys will run him off. I know bama fans who are already saying he will be a failure. Like Hawk was saying the past and future is where bama thrives, its the present that kicks their a$$.
Kevin Stafford // April 25, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I thought that might fire you guys up.
Yeah, yeah, get the licks in now. Oh yes, and you’re right, St.Leslie did win the NC - but who exactly recruited the players that did it?
Wait for it…….
….it’s coming….
Nick Saban
God it must feel awful. Congrads on your NC though. I actually was glad to see an SEC team keep the trophy in our conference. As much as I hate you guys during the season, I couldn’t stand to see some southern boys lose to the whimps from the Big 10.
Anyhow- I was just trying to rile you guys up.
Glad to see you aren’t Aubbies here.
By the way- any of you guys betting on the Derby?
Steve // April 25, 2008 at 9:06 pm
A few things, Saban actually beat the Patriots as you said but if I remember right he did the stealing signal deal against his buddy. Go figure! You can tell us who recruited a lot of our players but until they are Coached up to their potential it dont mean squat. Remember that guy who solidified the LSU victory at your House? Clue, He wasn’t a Saban recruit .You basically had the same Team you had from Shula’s Team and did not fair as well. Don’t worry we know all about the process and he wont admit he was wrong but he sure as hell will throw some Players and Assistants under the bus.
Kevin Stafford // April 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Assistants are something that troubles me a bit. We did lose Applewhite after only one year, and of course there’s the feeling that he (nick) is a bit difficult to work with. I think those are fair assessments.
I actually think Nick did a better job with “Shulas team” than Shula did. I mean, we did get to a bowl game and win it. Not only that, but the team was able to come from behind - something that NEVER happened under Coach Mike Shula.
Regardless - it’s hard not to be impressed with the talent he’s bringing in. It’s literrally the best we’ve seen since the days of Stallings.
No doubt their will be some heated battles between the Tide and LSU in years to come for the thrown of the West (provided we can ever figure out how to get past Sly Croom).
Kevin Stafford // April 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm
crap- can’t spell - “thrown” should be “throne”
Matt // April 25, 2008 at 11:45 pm
“And let’s see….Saban’s Dolphins shut out the Patriots and missed the playoffs by one game. How’d Miami look after he left?”
…and the same guy also says:
“Yeah, yeah, get the licks in now. Oh yes, and you’re right, St.Leslie did win the NC - but who exactly recruited the players that did it?”
But whose players did Cam Cameron have when he went 1-15? That’s right. And the one win was in overtime. So $aban’s players were winless in regulation.
Kevin Stafford // April 26, 2008 at 12:10 am
Saban’s player, eh? Do you really believe that? I guess you live in a magical land of elves and dwarves where Nick Saban drafted Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, and the rest.
Culpepper? check. Ronnie Brown? check. Let’s not act like the entire roster was Saban’s boys though, agreed?
Now, can we proceed past the pom-pom cheering for a moment? I think we’ve done the customary “damn you Tiger fans!!”, “yeah, we’ll damn you Tide fans!!” style rah-rah stuff enough. Our hatred is firmly established.
Now let’s show some SEC class and have a frank discussion.
Serious question, and please don’t take this as some swipe or attempt to flame - for it is not.
Just curious, in all honesty, when it was that the Saban hatred began for you. Did you hate him while he was recruting top classes and winning? Or did it begin when he left?
No doubt we’d be filled with rage if/when he leaves us one day, so I’m just trying to understand if it began prior to that. Right now we’re pretty happy with what he’s doing for us. There’s a definite change in the locker room. I need not bore you all with “the process” - you know it better than us. Can we at least admit there is some merit to it? Certainly LSU improved under his watch. Unless the argument is that DiNardo’s teams were better?
Just trying to understand.
LOL@ this // April 26, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Yeah… wearing a straw hat is what makes someone a tool.
Yeah, its wearing a straw hat, NOT voting FOR a recruiting rule every coach in the SEC voted AGAINST one year ago after Saban took every other schools top prospects and made it look so easy.
As for the “LSU” fan… I have nothing against you, but sitting there talking about how YOUR coach won the championship… let’s be real. Miles got SCREWED into staying at LSU because Michigan offered to early. If Michigan had waited, Miles would be gone. Oh, and there would be no Miles or LSU if Saban hadn’t put them both on the map.
Y’all can keep hating on Alabama, we expect it. I’ve known about the jealousy my whole life. But to attack someone for wearing a straw hat? Pathetic, and insulting to fans from EVERY school in the SEC.
Paxton // April 27, 2008 at 2:56 pm
LSU made Saban, not the other way around. Noone outside the Big 10 knew who he was ’til he came to LSU. Just like LSU made Miles. Saban is not God. Anyone want to tell me how many times Lord Saban has lost less than 2 games in a year? OK, i’ll tell you. TWICE. Get used to mediocracy ‘Bama, you should be by now anyway.
Paxton // April 27, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Oh, and Stafford, if i was a Bama i would shut up about the whole “Sabans recruits” thing because it making y’all look stupid. Why couldnt Saban win a NC with them or have 3 years of 11+ wins. (1 player from the ‘03 team was on the ‘07 team)
Phil Atio // April 27, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Saban is losing it in a Britney Spears sort of way. Watch him squirm under the pressure.
Bama will struggle to compete this year.
Nick is going to have a tough time getting
JPW to limit his mistakes in yet another
new offense and a young, inexperienced receiving corps.
Bama has lost to State two years running and the Bulldogs are getting to like it. Sly loves sticking it to Bama, and he should, because they treated him like a slave. Mal Function Moore is one of the biggest sniveling morons to ever screw up an athletic department. As long as he is around Saban or God himself won’t coach a winning Tide Football team.
P.A. out
Spotlight on AA Ball: 4/30/2008 « Bus Leagues Baseball // April 30, 2008 at 2:23 am
[...] When the Altoona Curve (Pirates) pay tribute to working implements, also known as “tools”, they’re going to honor football coach Nick Saban as a Tool with a capital “T”. Now that’s funny. [Friendsoftheprogram.net] [...]
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