During the summer our crack staff of malcontents and social drinkers will be compiling a list of the ten most excruciatingly terrible people on the face of the earth.  Those distinctly unique douchebags who completely fail at life and yet still manage to rise above their own horendousness to be lauded by some faction of the masses.  They deserve our ridicule, tasteless jokes, and general disdain…and at the very least a punch in the face.  Feel free to send nominations to us at hundreddollarhandshakes@gmail.com.  The List will be an ongoing summer endeavor and is a fluid situation to account for the future awfulness that these chosen few will surely produce.

#10 Ashton Kutcher

It would be nearly unfathomable to have a list of the perpetually cool and tough* without mentioning the star of groundbreaking comedies piles of grizzly bear crap like Dude Wheres My Car and Guess Who?.  Honestly, we almost forgot about Ashton Kutcher.  He was the leader in the clown shoes club house for the longest time, what with his zany Punk’d episodes and his one man crusade to make my dad’s mesh Co-op hat fashionable again.  But then he got all growns up on us, started trying for more serious acting roles, married some old bag, and experimented with using conditioner.  He was, for the most part, off of the d-bag radar…that is until he started doing those camera commercials.  You know the ones where all the hot girls want to take fun pictures of themselves for Ashton with his camera when he isnt looking (Oh you girls are incorrigible!).  We get it, the ladies think youre the nuts…too bad you jumped on to Casandra from One Crazy Summer like she was the last bus out of town.  Seriously, that alone gets you on The List.  This guy should be laying waste to entire zip codes of women but instead he is hitching the wagon to this hairdo. 

 And if that isnt enough, look at this guy run…

Ive seen better gaits at the Special Olympics.

Admittedly, the guy has improved with a little age on him but its not enough to avoid The List just yet, his body of work speaks for itself, so until further notice we agree with Dave Chappelle.

*credit to Alex Blagg