Earlier this month there was a lot of talk about the NCAA Official Exam and how hard it was, well, last week the SEC tested its officials at a clinic in Birmingham while the coaches and players were participating in SEC Media Days. Though, before the written exam, there was the physical fitness portion: a 1.5 mile run. And don’t you worry you krispy-kreme donut eating, overweight SEC official, you get extra time if you need it:

But nothing brings out fear like the 1½-mile run. Officials must reach certain times based on their age, with slower times needed as they get older. Umpires, who tend to be physically larger, get an extra minute to make their time.

Tend to be physically larger???? Hmm. Does that mean the umpires tend to be physically larger, so they get more time, and if so, why is that? Or has ”tend to be physically larger” replaced “big-boned” as the P.C. term for lard ass? And we all know there are plenty of those in the SEC. What ever happened to the officials back in the old days, the ones who could stay step for step with Billy Cannon? So, after that grueling 1.5 mile run (though, honestly, we would likely struggle with this as well), next comes the written exam. At first glance it appears a bit easier than the NCAA exam, but we’d likely fail both so what’s the difference. Here are the questions and here are the answers. The average score was 93 percent. Good luck. But don’t worry SEC fan, even if you fail the exam and can’t run 15 steps much less 1.5 miles, you still have every right to cuss, spit, and throw cups and bottles at the officials for making, in your drunken state of mind, a bad call this fall, regardless of what the “so-called” rules actually say.