Friends of the Program

Welcome Young Phelps. This is how it feels to be a celebrity, and just not any celebrity, a sports celebrity. You see young Phelps, this is how it’s done. You’ve already got the magazine covers, you’re going to host SNL, and every girl wants your well sculpted abs (no homo) right now. But, you haven’t reached the pinnacle of sports celebness until you have your own video game, and by video game, I don’t mean just appearing in one, any jack-leg NFL player can do that, but having your name on it. Though, come to think of it, I’m not sure, how they’re going to do a swimming video game, maybe you can be the next Ecco the Dolphin. Just make sure that whataver video game dork makes the game, it’s not the same guys who did Bo Jackson’s Hit and Run game. That was embarrassing and not just because it was on Gameboy.

Well, one of the perks of having your own video game, besides the millions of dollars they throw out at you, is that they throw this huge Launch Party, so we get to feel like Jay-Z and 50-Cent when they release a CD or something. Again, we’re sports celebs so we’ll take anything that gets us attention when we’re not actually playing or, in your case, swimming. You’d think these launch parties would attract a bunch of dudes, and you’d be right, they come out by the shitload, but there’s also some fine looking tail that show up at these things, and they even act like they love to play video games.

Just make sure the other celebs don’t get to them first because let’s be honest, I didn’t get the hottest wife on the planet becaue of my looks and charm, it’s because I make $40 million per year in endorsements. Maybe you will too, though, again, not much money in that swimming-thing you do. Maybe you can get the IOC to hold the Olympics every year. But hey, they have professional lacrosse now, and those guys must get paid something, so I guess anything can happen.