Degenerate gamblers by nature and birthright, your humble blogging hosts Bunkie Perkins and Michael Medallion, and other special guests, try to give you some guidance as you wager your plasma donation earnings on this week’s games.   

So what are you suggesting exactly?

Our super celebrity guest this week is none other than GQ’s latest cover girl and Optimus Prime’s favorite piece, Megan Fox.  She has agreed to conduct herself in a manner in which we prefer our eye candy…she will wear very little clothing and wont say much.  We almost asked her to bring beer but we didn’t want to press our luck.

Overall Standings:

Bunkie Perkins: 7-7-1 (Last Week: 1-3-1)

Michael Medallion: 6-8-1 (Last Week: 2-2-1) 

Florida -7.5 @ Tennessee

BP:  Florida.  Urban Meyer has threatened to unleash the full arsenal of Percy Harvin Ludicrous Speed upon the checker board grasses of Neyland Stadium this weekend.  We are really beginning to enjoy the pained cutaways of Fulmer when the Vols lose in some excruciating fashion. The odds on a debilitating Crompton interception look pretty favorable this week.

MM:  Florida. After all, BYU beat UCLA 59-0, UCLA beat UT 27-24, and my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Jonathan Crompton pass out at 31 Flavors last night, so it sounds like Tennessee doesn’t stand a chance.

 :  Florida.

Ole Miss -6.5 v. Vandy

BP:  Vandy.  The race to the Indy Bowl is on in earnest and this one may decide who will be spending an inordinate amount of time at the Bossier City Hooters come December.  Ole Miss is finally healthy on the defensive line but hasn’t stopped a dual threat quarterback since Jared Lorenzen (his two threats, throwing and eating).  Upstart Vandy is a mere 3 wins away from a non-losing season.  Rebs pull it out at home but Steve Martin’s Bobby Johnson’s squad gets the cover.

MM:  Ole Miss. While Vandy’s Johnson has a big head right now being undefeated, they just don’t have the balls to hang with the Rebel’s Nutt in Oxford. (Hooray Dick and Balls Jokes!)

 :  Vandy.

LSU -3 @ Auburn

BP:  LSU.  History says go with the home team in this game, but common sense says never go against any team that has a pack of shorn grizzlies posing as defensive lineman.  No one on the Auburn offense is safe from a good ole fashioned bear mauling this week.  I also heard Les Miles on Scott Van Pelt yesterday say his defense will (paraphrasing) “qualify the desire of the other team’s running back”…fancy talk to desribe breaking a man’s spirit makes us smile. 

MM:  LSU. LSU hasn’t won on da Plains in 10 years, so Auburn? But then, there’s that whole anti-homerism, reverse psychology pick that may come into play here again, so LSU? I’m torn. Regardless, I honestly expect this game to end with a score of 7-6, 9-7, or, more likely, 4-2. Though, if I’m wrong and since that tends to happen more often than not, I expect the score to be something along the lines of LSU 41 Auburn 6.  So anti homerism, reverse psychology pick it is.

 : LSU

Alabama -9.5 @ Arkansas

BP:  Alabama.  First hand exposure to an actual football team will be too much for the Razorbacks to bear.  No amount of Petrino spells from his magic offense bean bag will stave off the inevitability of a monumental thrashing. 

MM:   Alabama. The Bobby Petrino Project at Arkansas is still unscathed, but now here comes the Saban and his Tide to open SEC play in Fayettnam. At least, after the game, Arkansas won’t have to worry about being called the worst undefeated team in the country anymore.

 : Alabama

Mississippi State +8 @ Georgia Tech

BP:  Mississippi State.  Over/Under on completed passes in this game should be at a modest 5.  Georgia Tech’s diabolical option attack scores….once, maybe twice, and thats plenty (except against the spread) against the Legion of Croom, who’s 2 points last week were essentially scored by Auburn on a hold in the endzone.  Despite the victory, Paul Johnson will refuse to break his streak of 32 years without smiling.

MM:  Georgia Tech.  State’s defense may bode well against the Techster’s triple option…unfortunately for State, their offense has to play too.  Though its possible that State’s offense will show some life beyond a 5 play drive this week, it is certainly not likely.

 : Mississippi State.