Degenerate gamblers by nature and birthright, your humble blogging hosts Bunkie Perkins and Michael Medallion, and other special guests, try to give you some guidance as you wager your plasma donation earnings on this week’s games.   

Overall Standings

Bunkie Perkins:  19-19-2 (1-4 last week)

Mike Medallion:  21-17-2 (3-2 last week)

Ole Miss -6 v. Auburn

BP:  Auburn.  Ole Miss has no business being 6 point favorites against anybody.  Tommy Tuberville returns to a place he once said he wouldn’t leave without a pine box…if he doesn’t beat the Rebels this weekend, Auburn fans may give him his wish.

MM:  Ole Miss. As funny as it might sound, Auburn is undefeated at halftime. So, I’ll go with a halftime score of Auburn 14 Ole Miss 10. But then there’s that darn second half they have to worry about where opponents miraculously figure out Auburn’s defensive scheme and its high schoolEnsminger-run offense. Final Score: Auburn 14 Ole Miss 31. 

Florida -6 v. Georgia

BP:  Florida.  The Gators looked sufficiently pissed off last weekend as they beat down Kentucky at home in an act that would be considered domestic violence in 35 states (none of which are in the south mind you).  Georgia comes off an impressive win in Baton Rouge but the warm fuzzies from last week wont be enough as the Gator’s super quick pill toting midgets get it done by a comfortable margin.

MM:  Florida.It should be an exciting game even if neither team starts a dance party in the endzone after their first touchdown. The speed of Florida is mind boggling, and, unlike LSU, they have a team that utilizes it far to well for UGA to handle.

Texas Tech +6 v. Texas

BP:  Texas Tech.  It’ll be Texas’ 4th straight tester.  The Red Raiders looked down right wooly last week at Kansas.  I like the dred pirate Leach to finally get a major Big 12 win.  Plus I just bought this t-shirt to commemorate the impending victory.

MM:  Texas Tech. Texas Shootout. Colt. Guns Up. So many gun references for the Gameday signs this week it will be hard for the fans to choose, especially for the Texas fans, so EDSBS has offered up plenty of Corso-penis references to display instead. But all penis jokes aside, this one will be a shootout. Red Raiders looked good last week, and I think they’ll look better this week, even against Muschamp’s defense.

Tulsa -7 @ Arkansas

BP:  Tulsa.  Arkansas has shown improvement the last couple of week, but it matters not when the the Gus bus rolls into town this weekend.  Malzahn, the former Springdale High School coach and super fun passing sven gali returns to the motherland to burn out scoreboard light bulbs in Fayetteville.

MM:  Tulsa. With this game, Tulsa will get to embarrass one SEC team before it embarrasses another in the Liberty Bowl. Gus is waiting for your call, Auburn, if you truly are “staying with the spread.”

South Carolina -6 v. Tennessee

BP:  South Carolina.  Would Lex Luthor lend a friendly hand to a Superman after he placed a rock of kryptonite around his neck?  Would Darth Vader send flowers to the grieving family of some random ship captain he did the no hands Jedi choke you out move?  Would Ric Flair sew up Dusty Rhodes’ stitches after he blindsided him with a tire iron?  Spurrier won’t call of the dogs on Fulmer and his limping through the season Vol squad.

MM:  South Carolina. You think Spurrier is anxiously awaiting his chance to seal Fulmer’s fate at Tennessee (though it’s probably a done deal already anyway)? Me too. I guess that means Southern Maid will be safe come late December.