FOTP, your source of self destruction

What’s that?  You’ve got a nice little weekend planned huh? Going to go to Home Depot, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that…maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond?  Our weekend scoffs at the mere idea of your weekend…our weekend takes of swig from the bottle of Mr. Daniel’s finest, kicks your weekend in the mouth with a steel toed snakeskin boot, and flips your weekend off while he walks off with your weekend’s girlfriend…

Saturday. Location: Tiger Stadium, Ole Miss v. LSU

We will be engulfed in all of the storied rivalry goodness that is the Ole Miss/LSU game in Baton Rouge.  Two middle of the road SEC teams fighting furiously for a chance to get skull drug by a Big 12 team in the Cotton Bowl (and who doesn’t love a 1 pm 11:30 kickoff on New Years Day!).  We will be donning riot gear and toting an industrial sized can of mace as we attempt to sit in Tiger Stadium as a fan of the opposition.   Odds of us being shanked at the urinal by the 3rd quarter: 8-1. 

Sunday. Location: New Orleans Arena, Metallica Concert

We are pressing our favorite black tshirt as we speak in anticipation of James Hetfield sufficiently rocking our face off in the Big Easy on Sunday.  By concert time we will have downed the appropriate amount of aspirin and Bloody Marys in recovery from the day before in order to be lucid enough to throw devil horns in the air at the appropriate points in the guitar solo of “Master of Puppets”.  Odds of us getting trampled in a mosh pit:  3-1

Monday.  Location: The Superdome, MNF, Saints v. Packers

Against our better judgment, we stay in the Quarter for a full 24 hours in time to see our roller coaster Saints take on the Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football.  Nothing is more joyous than seeing Jeremy Shockey run the wrong routes and drop multiple passes in person.  Keep shaking your head and smiling on the sidelines, douche.   Odds of us being hauled off to jail after drunkenly wandering onto the ESPN post game set just to punch Stu Scott in his good eye:  even money.

Pictures and stories to abound next week, if we live through all of this.