Friends of the Program

Malibu Sands Kapowski is here to save our drowning SEC picks

We were oh so clever in August when we broke out our SEC preseason predictions, brought to you by Saved By The Bell.  We just knew that the SEC East would be the class of the conference and that someone with a 5-3 record was going to win the West, we were sure that Fat Phil would rally the troops for a banner year, we were positive that Saban would fall into mediocrity behind LSU and Auburn, and we were certain that Vandy would continue it’s cellar dwelling for yet another season…so much for what we know. 

We weren’t putridly awful however, and let it never be said that we weren’t willing to call our own analysis complete and utter garbage.  The gorey details after the jump.

SEC East

The Good:  Florida.  We went with Florida as the East champ (big stretch we know) with a 10-2 (7-1) record.  Had it not been for the The Houston Nutt Traveling Circus and Motorcade rolling into town and stealing the always tricky 11:30 Raycom game, the Gators would have run the table.

USC.  We were all set to get this one exactly right at 8-4 (4-4) until Steve Spurrier decided to throw the Clemson game in order to get an over matched Dabo Swinney hired at his in-state rival.  Diabolical, that Spurrier.

Kentucky.  Dead on here.  We knew they’d get out to a flying start against a bunch of roadkill then wilt down the stretch thanks to legitimate D I opponents.

The Bad.  Vandy.  Can’t really fault us here, I mean the odds of another dismal season were clearly in our favor, but thanks to some early season gifts from Ole Miss and Auburn, the Dores stand bowl eligible for the first time since parachute pants were acceptable.

What codine laced elixir were we sipping when…we picked UT to go 10-2 (6-2).  We figured losing Erik Ainge would have been an improvement and Fulmer would have pulled yet another improbable late season run out of his elastic waistband supported pants…or maybe we were just scared of Eric Berry.

SEC West 

The Good.  Ole Miss.  We knew that the Rebs had some Shrimper recruited talent but we also knew that for a team that wasn’t used to winning, alot had to go their way to right the ship (thank you uncharacteristically sub par SEC competition!).  It did.  After their Egg Bowl dismantling of State (all hail the Landsharks!) Ole Miss is pretty clearly the third best team in the conference this year and arguably the hottest. 

Arkansas and Mississippi State.  Not a hard one to predict.  We knew Arkansas would struggle with so much youth and even though Mississippi State finished with 8 wins last year we kind of figured that the legion of Croom’s luck had run out.

The Bad.  Auburn.  We only take partial responsibility here.  We absolutely called the utter failure of the spread at Auburn.  Go back and look at the original post…see all of those Auburn homers drinking the koolaid…what say you now?  Turns out my 7-5 (4-4) prediction was a generous nod to a team with no offense, no identity, and no chance.

What codine laced elixir were we sipping when…We even thought about picking against Alabama.  Overlord Saban, we repent to thee for stupidly thinking you would render a 6-6 season.  We beg for mercy upon our soul and the souls of our family.