One of God’s greatest gifts, the love shared between a mother and daughter

In the annals of time, in the pages of history, in the volumes of written language and spoken word, there has never…never been a more eloquent turn of phrase to describe the special bond that a mother and daughter share between one another.

In a mother-daughter fight that included pushing, shoving, wrestling, biting and wielding a pan, a woman kicked her mother unconscious and then defecated on her while she was lying on the floor, Bossier Parish sheriff’s deputies said.

When faced with such an open display of affection between two people, let alone two people who share such a close bond in blood and, well, feces, sometimes its hard to really put one’s thoughts about the matter into words.  Bossier Parish Sheriff’s Department Lieutenant Ed Baswell chose to channel his inner Jim Ross to describe the scene.

“It was a donnybrook,”

“Pier 6 Brawl” and “a real slobberknocker”  were your other options there, Lieutenant.

You would think that the fight was over once mom was knocked out and then summarily pooped upon, but oh no, once consciousness was regained by mother dearest, the anger of having your daughter knock you out and release her bowels upon her backside set in…and that’s the point wherein foreign objects were then entered into the equation…Mick Foley endorses these next sentences.

The fight started up again when Hacker regained consciousness, Baswell said. There was more hitting and wrestling and the fight eventually made its way outside, At one point, the daughter bit her mother on the lip, causing a cut. The mother grabbed a steel pan and hit the daughter five times, Baswell said.

Both were charged with simple battery, but mom, who got knocked out and shitted on mind you, was given the stiffer charge of aggravated battery for wielding a frying pan…naturally.