On a sloppily stormy night in our Nation’s Capital (well, technically Landover, Maryland) FOTP operatives infiltrated the epicenter of American Culture. If you can’t make cotillion class a parking lot outside an NFL game will do just fine. We never got a glimpse of Brady’s greatest trophy (Gisele), but knowing she was likely somewhere out there in that sea of overweight men wearing Jerseys and mustard stains was as comforting to us as it was to Tom when a 350lb Albert Haynesworth belly flopped on his shoulder.
Here is a brief photo tour of Redskins Nation.
It is one thing to make the bold statement on your tee-shirt that your coach stimulates you sexually, but it is a whole ‘nother ball game if said invidual is drinking Mike’s Hard PINK Lemonade. That is right; this guy was drinking Mike’s Hard PINK Lemonade whilst tailgaiting for Football.
You are just going to have to trust us on this. That white bag conceals a whole sixer of Mike’s Hard PINK Lemonade. After the loss he surely went home to drown his sorrow in Buttery Nipple shots and possibly even a bedtime Appletini if he was feeling spunky.
Just 2 people. 4 hamburgers. 7 hotdogs. 1 can of beans. NFL BABY. AMERICA. BOOSH.
This is what happens to U-Haul vans that are never turned back in…
Classic NFL fan wedgie (Don’t worry, that is a chick).
These guys were for the black & denim team. And trust me, if they ask you are too.
The famous hogettes and a hogette groupie. Cross-dressing pig men and the women who love them.
Joe is still a beloved figure in this town. For some reason Spurrier not so much…
Our beer will make you fat. And very round.
Jason Campbell enters the field while overzealous Skins fans chant for Colt Brennan/Chase Daniel/Heath Shuler to get their shot.
This could be a picture of the Pats returning the opening kick or it could be of the backside of 9 NFL Cheerleaders. You decide.
Brady under center. Moss wide. Unstoppable pre-Haynesworth flop.
I know Darrell Green sir. And you are no Darrell Green.
Boom-Boom Pow.
No really. There is a full service Hooters inside the stadium. If the game sucks atleast you have hot wings and boobs.
3 responses so far ↓
1 NOTinNOLA // Aug 30, 2009 at 1:02 am
Juice,
How dare you try to use your dry humor towards Redskins Football. I expect the same hard-hitting piece on the “lovely” Saints fans and atmosphere.
Suck. It. Woo.
PS> Surely, FTOP can spring for better seats than those.
2 The Juice // Aug 30, 2009 at 8:59 am
I’m well aware of the cast of characters who attend Saints games. If I had the locational opportunity I’d do a photo essay on them every weekend eventually landing me a pulitzer or atleast a publishing deal for a coffee table book.
But alas this is the geographical hand I’m delt at the moment. I really hope to go to a Ravens game sometime time year. Prepare yourself for that one.
3 Tommy J // Aug 31, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Very nice essay sir.
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