“Lo ye Frat Guy.

Thy shalt not hinder my vision quest to find Auburn Football Zen in the Student Section at the Hare of Jordan Coliseum. Be gone consumers of whiskey, heed the call of my Mountain Dew belches and the stench of my armpit rashes.

Les I may cast a spell on you: 101000011110000100.”

 This was likely the first draft of Clinton’s letter to the Plainsman editor about his anger over “Frat Guy” behavior in the Auburn Student Section during the Louisiana Tech game.

He converted it to the english of mere mortals when his girlfriend (read female character he spends a lot of time with in World of Warcraft, but is actually controlled by a 43 year-old man) told him it might be best not to write it in the WoW vernacular.

More than any other segment of the crowd, frat guys appear to make up the obnoxiously vocal, occasionally violent, and openly inconsiderate part of the student section.

What do you think makes LSU’s Tiger Stadium one of the most terrifying and intimidating locals in the entire world for any human being to enter as an outsider? Because Clinton’s above statement doesn’t just describe the frat guys at Tiger Stadium, it describes EVERYONE; the independents, the parents, the grandparents, the teachers, and every child that takes part at night games in the Red Stick is vocal, violent, inconsiderate, and drunk.

When talking heads speak of an LSU home game do they bring up the vile fans and bags of urine tossed? Hell nah. They talk about arguably the best homefield advantage in existence.

there was a also a quick pushing match that came from them that resulted in several people falling to the next bleacher down and my girlfriend catching a flying elbow in her back from a large dude.

This they don’t get a pass on. Nor does anyone. Your “girlfriend” (also known as the random girl standing beside you) should have taken the opportunity to flying knee the guy in the balls as he wouldn’t fight back and she’d get a loud cheer of approval, but rest assured drunken fights aren’t a Frat Guy exclusive. Apparently you’ve never been to a dive bar or an NFL game.

I know a lot of non-Greek students share this opinion and it’s unfortunate that a sizable minority of the student body (frat guys) carry that stigma; it dirties the reputation of the decent members and is the reason that phrases like “frat douchebag” are so liberally and oftentimes ignorantly applied.

Thank the gods that all non-frat guys are church-going, sober, non-cussing, ra-ra-ra-sis-boom-ba, golf clapping, Auburn fans!

Auburn prides itself on being a family; if so, a number of frat guys seem like the cousin who shows up drunk to Thanksgiving and tries to fight Grandpa.

Grandpa must of had it coming.

Clinton Patterson

graduate student, computer engineering

Look Clinton, frat guys are pretty damn far from perfect, no argument here. But those guys drink a lot of bourbon. And we don’t know if you’ve noticed but bourbon drunk people are loud. Loud people enhance the crowd noise at the stadium. Crowd noise has been proven by scientists to help win games. So we approve. Next gameday get on the hard liquor train at 8:00 AM or get to the Stadium early and get out the way. BOOSH!

[HT: robertelowder]