Every week the the degenerate gamblers who run this site attempt to pick games for the upcoming college football weekend.  We are usually completely and totally wrong, blinded by team allegiance, alumni status, and probably a 5th of Makers.  That being the case, we’ve enlisted help of professionals…not for the Makers problem, but for the gambling one.  The Geek Sheet experts have decided to set us all straight this season.  They’ll be here to give you the winners, blow your mind with high level statistical analysis, and shamelessly plug their own site…which is something we have great admiration for.  Be sure to check out their site for more.  Now, on to the picks…

Records

The Juice: 3-2

Mike Medallion: 2-3

Bunkie Perkins: 2-3

The Geek: 3-2

Notre Dame -4 @ Michigan

The Juice: Michigan. While I appreciate Lou Holtz and Beano the Cook’s master plan of picking Notre Dame to win the National Championship every year until it finally happens (or they die), I’m too damn proud of Rich Rod (for filling the crying coach void that hasn’t been wholeheartedly occupied since Dick Vermeil) to pick against him.

Mike Medallion: Notre Dame. Unlike Teh Juice, I respect my elders. Even if they are senile, old fools, sometimes they get things right…Ron Powlus won 3 Heisman Trophies, right?

Bunkie Perkins: Notre Dame. Champions of the WAC vs. Champions of the West (or at the very least most parts of Michigan and Minnesota).  Michigan looked viable last week with two freshmen under center (not at the same time though…that’d be kinda gross)but experience and Jimmy Clausen’s inflated dark horse Heisman campaign wins this one for Notre Dame down the stretch.

The Geek: Notre Dame. Anyone who tells you they’ve got a beat on this game; cuts their own hair, or is just FOS. Both teams looked very good LW, but both still have loads of question marks. All our math and models are with ND…but by a very thin margin, the average score is 27-23, but about 30% of our models have Michigan winning. Our math shows ND outgaining Michigan by a 70 yard margin, so this one will most likely come down to TOs, Field Position, and TD conversion ration (HINT: FGs Kill). I’ll stick the Irish as they seem to have less questions, but I’m pretty much flipping coins. ND25 Michigan 20

USC -7 @ Ohio State

TJ:  Ohio State. In the illustrious words of Terrelle Pryor, “everybody murders people.” So there ain’t no shame in sniper-ing Matt Barkley in the pregame. Despite USC being the hot pick thanks to a less than stellar performance by Ohio State against Navy, I like OSU at home in the horseshoe. And I like 5,000 Southern California visitors to be urinated on.

MM: USC. I seem to remember everyone questioning this kid named Matt Linehart back in 2003 before he started his first game on the road at QB for USC-W in game against a certain Top 10 team. Pete Carroll knows how to pick a quarterback, and if he says that this Barkley kid is better than lead singer of Megadeth, then he must be good.

BP: USC. USC featured a gaggle of quality running backs led by not-quite-Reggie Bush clone Joe McKnight.  Ohio State showed a distinct allergic reaction to the run last week against a bunch of seaman.  The ground game facial continues (see what I did there) for the Buckeyes and USC covers late.

The Geek:  USC. The easy way out is to pick USC in another B10 OOC embarrassment, little risk in that given the past history of this conference, this team, and this coach. However, there is a lot going on here that leads me to believe this thing may be closer than others might initially expect. USC and true fresh QB Barkley cruised vs a completely over matched SJSU team LW and Ohio State barely squeezed by an Academy school that most people think will struggle to get to a bowl game….seems too easy, right? Maybe so, but my guess is the True Fresh under the lights in the Horseshoe with the nation watching will find the sledding a little tougher than LW. Do I think OSU wins…hell no (our math shows a 150 yd advantage for USC), keeps it respectable…yes, covers the TD…not likely, unless Barkley gift wraps a few INTs to the OSU def. Average model projection is 32-21 USC, with a worse case 27-26 squeeker. USC 31 OSU 23

 UCLA +7 ½ @ Tennessee

TJ: Tennessee. I avoided being an SEC Homer last week, but I like Rocky Top at home in Knoxville. I think their D is strong enough to keep Rick Neuheisel’s gambling problem in check.

MM. Tennessee. They’ve been hyping this one as the Lane Kiffin vs. Norm Chow. Student vs. Teacher. I don’t think Mr. Chow is able to work his magic like he used to at USC, so I’ll go with teh student.

BP: UCLA. One good game against Western Kentucky and Lane Kiffin is the savior for all things an unfortunate shade of orange.  Im not sold yet.  A couple of unfathomable picks by Crompton (thats really the only kind he throws anyway) will keep UCLA snug throughout.  UT gets the win but the Bruins hang in there to cover it.

The Geek: Tennessee. While this game didn’t make our card for the week, we did look it over pretty hard, particularly given the combined 12 TOs in these teams games LW. Click here for the analysis, we’ll lean with the home team and are curious to see act 2- Kiffin..Redux. UT 28 UCLA 17

Miss. State +13 ½ @ Auburn

TJ: Auburn. I watched the MSU game. While Auburn has a long way to go, MSU is trying to run Florida’s offense with skill players that Greg McElroy could probably run down from behind. I like the Plainsman Eagles by 3 TDs.

MM: Auburn. I had the privilege of attending last year’s aberration of football in Starkvegas. Only those who were there can truly appreciate how awful that game was; ESPN couldn’t really capture it on camera. The only consolation was that we parked as close as humanly possible to the stadium and there were some decent poon in attendance. With better poon, but a worse parking spot this week, I hope and pray for a better game an Auburn win.

BP: Auburn. Look at it this way, they can only go up from last years complete and utter game of fail last year.  Auburn doesnt quite have the horses to run Gus Malzahn’s full offense just yet but they’ll be passable enough against a Mississippi State team that doesn’t even have one player adequate enough to run Dan Mullen’s offense.

The Geek: Auburn. AUbren definitely got out to a fast start racking up over 500 yards vs a very good LaTech defense that was 8-5 LY and went to a bowl game. On the surface Miss St looked pretty good as well, cruising to a 45-7 win over Jackson State. However, at closer inspection that wasn’t quite as rosy as it sounds. Toss in only 410 yards despite 70 plays (less than 6 yppl) and 5 JSU TOs, and it appears Mr. Mullens still has a few kinks to work out. My guess is a renewed AU team with superior talent makes quick work of this one, however, given the uncertainty surrounding both these teams (new coaching staff on both sides) and the lack of meaningful data on Miss State’s side in week 1, I’ll resist the urge to pull the trigger. Using mostly last years data (with some adjustments for this year), our average score is 28 -14 Auburn, adjusted more heavily for AUs performance in Week 1 and a score of 35/38-14 seems more likely. I’ll split the middle…Auburn 31 Miss State 14

BONUS PICKS

South Carolina +7 @ Georgia

TJ: South Carolina. While The Geek will pick some mathematical certainty here, I like to live DANGEROUSLY. In Blackjack I hit when I have 20 and despite the fact Joe Cox has come down with Joe T Syndrome ($1 to PFSMITH), I like USC to at least cover between the bushes. The Cocks always play them tough and it especially doesn’t help that UGA doesn’t seem to have any tough in them this year (yeah I went there).

Kansas State -7 @ UL LAFAYETTE

MM. U-LaLa. Old-man Bill Synder will rethink his return to coaching after dealing with the oppressive heat of south Louisiana. And note to the K-State band: Don’t make the trip. Not because there is nothing to do in Laffy-ette (or Leh-Fay-ette if you’re from where Ricky does his ranting), but because there’s no way in hell you will top the halftime performance of ULL’s opponent last week. Just trying to save you the embarrassment.

Navy -7 v. Louisiana Tech

BP: Navy. Navy damn near pulled off the upset in the Horseshoe last weekend, Louisiana Tech hung tough at Auburn for a half.  Tech proved that they have a bit of a problem stopping the run along the edge, and all Navy does is run.  On top of that, Tech goes from trying to defend Auburn’s fast break spread to now trying to slow the good ol’ triple option…and all in a mater of 7 days.  On top of THAT, half of Tech’s team has the flu.  This one will be ugly….oh and SEAMEN.

 Utah -13 v San Jose St.

The Geek: Utah.  This is one of our 2 recommended plays this week.   We also have 2 other free plays (which were 2-0 last week J).  Click here to get a copy of our analysis for this game, and click here to purchase our picks.  DO IT.