Every week the the degenerate gamblers who run this site attempt to pick games for the upcoming college football weekend.  We are usually completely and totally wrong, blinded by team allegiance, alumni status, and probably a 5th of Makers.  That being the case, we’ve enlisted help of professionals…not for the Makers problem, but for the gambling one.  The Geek Sheet experts have decided to set us all straight this season.  They’ll be here to give you the winners, blow your mind with high level statistical analysis, and shamelessly plug their own site…which is something we have great admiration for.  Be sure to check out their site for more.  Now, on to the picks…

Records

The Juice: 7-3

Mike Medallion: 4-6

Bunkie Perkins: 5-5

The Geeks: 4-6

UT +29 @ Florida

The Juice: UT. Really. Plus TWENTY NINE in an SEC Rivalry game. I’m going to pick UT to beat the spread only because of Crompton’s beautiful mustache.

Mike Medallion: UT. Call me crazy…this game reminds me of Auburn-Florida in 2007, except with me not being there, Florida winning (though not by 30), and the visting team wearing a different shade of orange. So…eh…yeah…just like it…at least Eddie Gran will be on the visiting team’s sideline, so close enough. And for the love of all that is good and right with the world, please let there be a TV camera focused only on Layla Kiffin the entire game. Is that too much to ask, CBS?

Bunkie Perkins: Florida. Yeah, remember all those crazy shenanigans that God pulled on the Egyptians when the Pharaoh wouldn’t let all those zany Jews go?…Well yeah, it’ll be like that except “Old Testament Tebow” wont spare the second and third born kids.

The Geek: Florida My math and our models are surprisingly consistent for a big lined game like this (all in the 40/42- 10/12 range). For all practical purposes I can’t see what anyone is doing thinking they can call this one, 40-12 UT covers, 42-10 UF covers. Presuming Eric Berry doesn’t decapitate Tebow, or something crazy like that, my guess is Lil’ Lane will learn a lesson here about taunting Sir Meyer. I’ll say this, I’ll feel a lot better backing UF and a p*ssed off Meyer than Crazy Ed & Lil’ Lane. UF 45 UT 12.

UGA +1 ½ @ Arkansas

TJ:  Arkansas. I actually am having a very hard time with this one. UGA could be underrated and ARKY could be overrated. But Bobby Petrino is a complete Dick so I’ll go with Arkanas this week.

MM: Georgia. I’m picking UGA simply due to the fact that UGA co-ed and 2008 Miss World USA, Lane Lindell, is dressed like a nurse in her current FB profile photo.

BP: Arkansas. Medallion makes a compelling argument above, but the Hogs are riding a delusional high right now.  Their offensive explosion against Missouri State has them believing in things like the Easter Bunny, Global Warming, and a legitimate passing game.  This is a must win for Arkansas, as they have a tough slate of games coming up.  This one sets the tone for the rest.

The Geek:  Georgia. I guess the bet here is whether we get UGA Jekyll or UGA Mr. Hyde from the Dawgs offense…pretty interesting contrast from week 1 to 2 against vastly different Defenses. Arkansas’s D resembles OSUs much more than USC, but I guess that shows what I know as they torched USC and looked like a Pop Warner team playing the Patriots vs OSU. They are back on the road, so it will be interesting to see how they’ve improved in that regard. I think Arkansas’s D has a long way to go, and all our math calls for 30-40 for the Dawgs. I’ve given up trying to figure out what the heck Richt is thinking keeping Martinez as DC, and until they prove they can stop anyone, you won’t find me near one of their games. All our math and models have Arkansas in the 28-30 range, which means we are probably in for a pretty entertaining game. Should anyone think about touching this…hell no, but I’ll side with Defense that at least has the athletes to compete. UGA 35 Arkansas 30

West Virginia +7 v. Auburn

TJ: Auburn. They’ve covered for me so far this year, I cannot give up on them now. Even with that evil hell spawn Devine on the other side of the field. Oh yeah and I’ll be there. Things never go badly when I’m in attendance. Except for that weekend in Vegas…

MM. Auburn. Forget Texas-Texas Tech, this is going to be the real shootout of the day. Ontario McCalebb and Noel Devine are going to be two of the best “everyone else is running in slow motion” running backs you’ll see anywhere this season. So, I’m looking to go 3-for-3 on picking Auburn this week…but hoping to avoid going 3-for-3 on the AU EMS crew visiting my section during the game (not for me).

BP: Auburn. If for no other reason than I think Gus Malzahn is completely aware of what the spread is and will do his offensive fastbreaking best to get me a cover.  Im delusional in that way.

The Geek: Auburn. I think I am starting to get a better statistical handle on the new AU offense, but still with only 2 games of data I am hesitant to pull the trigger. Our adjusted math calls for a 417-287 advantage for the home team, which should give you a scoring range anywhere around 30-35 Auburn – 17-24 WVU. WVU looked pretty good last week with over 500 yards offense vs ECU, but with only one real game this year it is hard to know what to expect, particularly with the new QBs 1st road start in what will be by far the most hostile stadium they will play in all year. I am curious to see how they handle the stadium and atmosphere at Auburn Saturday night. For those of you who bore easily, go do a little research and find out how many times anyone on this WVU team or coaching staff has coached/played an away game in a stadium larger than 85,000. Will be interesting to see how they react…WVU 21 Auburn 33.

Texas Tech +17 ½ @ Texas

TJ: Texas Tech. Can you really pick against Mike Leach on National Talk Like a Pirate Day? Seriously? I would give anything to hear this pep talk.

MM: Texas Tech. I picked Texas Tech last year. Why not pick them again this year? Muschamp can boom m’fer, bleed all over the sidelines, and do flying chest bumps with every player on his team, he’s still no match for Leach.

BP: Texas Tech. All signs point to Texas really wanting to throttle Tech after the Raiders ruined the Horns’ chances at a national title with their miracle win in Lubbock.  The Horns will get some sort of revenge in a win, but the Dread Pirate Leach and his swashbuckling ways get the cover.

The Geek: Texas Tech. I don’t honestly have a clue what to expect here, half our projections have TTU losing by 13-16 and the other half have UT winning by 20+, math seems to be all over the map as well with 100+ swings in offensive performance across models. 75% of our math/models call for 38-41 for the Longhorns, so I guess our question is can TTU get to 21-24? Our average score is 26, so I guess the answer is yes, although 50% of the time they scored 20-23. I flipped a coin and came up with The Crazy Pirate, so I guess I’ll go with him…TTU 24 UT 40.

BONUS PICKS

FSU +7 @ BYU

TJ: BYU. This isn’t so much me picking against FSU as it me picking BYU also Bobby Bowden is going to think he is in the movie “What Dreams May Come’ thanks to that lovely Provo backdrop.

MM. BYU. I wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for picking against BYU for the OU game in week 1 and for taking pot shots against the sanctity of polygamy. Honestly, it’s really a special thing yall got going there…with your multiple wives and all…and that football team ain’t too shabby either. As for Bobby Bowden, he should’ve been out of the game years ago but he can’t stay home because he hates his wife! You’ve met her at the Christmas parties. She’s the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard ($1 to James Carrey).

Michigan State +10 @ Notre Dame

BP: Michigan State. To be honest, I know very little about Michigan State, but this line just feels like an over-hyped reputation produced spread.  Notre Dame proved last week that they arent the end all be all that Dr. Lou would like for them to be and Michigan State has won their fair share in this series of late.

Mississippi State +9 @ Vandy

The Geek: Miss. State This is one of our recommended plays for the week. Our lifetime record (5 years) is 63% (215-119-7), including 68% (52-24-1) last year! Click here to get our plays. We’ve set up a separate page for Friends of the Program to view our analysis of Mississippi State –Vandy, for free! Click Here for analysis of MSU-Vandy.

We are finalizing our card for this week but I looks like we’ll have anywhere from 3-4 recommended plays on Saturday (including MSU). We usually have 3-5 games a week we take a very hard look at but decided to pass on. You can sign up to receive these plays free of charge by visiting our website, www.thegeeksheetsports.com or clicking here.