On a breezy beltway evening FOTP pop culture experts embarked to see the biggest Irish Band in the world on their 360 Tour with their magical claw, mothership, hive stage, a travelling JERRYWORLD if you will. And Lo what a show it was in the always classy & classic Landover, MD within the lovely sterile confines of FedEx Field…

On the way in one passes “The World’s LARGEST BBQ Pit” – I really don’t see how anyone could dispute that claim, as long as they aren’t cheating and counting the dry cleaners next door in their official measurement…

These guys were drinking wine… at a tailgate. Ridiculous. What is next?!? Tailgating with bow-tie’s, silverware, and chandeliers???

An authentic Irish tailgate. The only inaccuracy is that there should be a sheep drawn carriage instead of an SUV.

“The Claw” they call it. Or the only net large enough to contain Bono’s ego.

 An hour and a half before showtime, I presume FedEx needs to get used to being 90% empty ($1 to the Detroit Lions).

 ”The Claw” looking ready to pollinate someone.

“Where is the mosh pit bitches?”

 To your immediate left: pony tail mullet & mustache.

 This guy had his hair before Terps football season began.

 This pale chiseled Scandanavian surfer fellow was infinitely creepy. And everywhere.

What’s that? No seriously that is Pat.

There he is again. CREEPING. 

Lots of celebrities. Here is Taylor Hicks. 

 Tracy Morgan.

Opening act MUSE is huge everywhere, but the States. They plan on rectifying this by showing their name on the jumbotron every 30 seconds. 

Someone bedazzled his guitar. 

What is this band called again? 

Oh yeah that is it. And look the “US” is Red White and Blue.
“LOVE US AMERICA” – Sincerely, Muse.
“OK” – America.

Not a rollercoaster. Those are spotlighters being raised up. You know you’ve made it as a band when you can afford to pay 12 fulltime spotlighters (3 on each leg).

Viva Brasil! Oh and guess whose back that is to her left! 

Seriously. This dude center frame was large enough to impede the view of 200 people on floor right. Ahh General Admission. I loathe and love you. 

Another celeb: the pale feminine vampire from Twilight.

Countdown to U2.

They appear seemingly sober (fake Irishmen!). 

The Edge I presume? Look these are called Below Average Photo Essays for a reason.

At this point I’m waiting patiently for a mechanical Hornet to attack the audience.

Bono holding hands with some kid. Seriously. 

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY. Green for Iran. No joke here. Good stuff.

That is the either the High School yearbook photo of the Chinese guy from the Hangover or some female president of Burma who has been on house arrest since 1990, I forget.

Intro to One, where for the first time in history I heard a musician not named Toby Keith give a positive shot out to George Bush. 

Where The Streets Have No Name. 

Bono singing from a steering wheel hanging from the top of the stage and wearing a jacket made of laser pointers. Why? Because he can I guess.

The triumphant end. Thanks for the evening U2. Next time is your turn to buy the $9 beers though…