Friends of the Program

A Very Special Bama Fan Flame Critique

September 30, 2009 · 11 Comments

In our constant effort to be fair and balanced around here, I cannot, in good conscience, comment on the above.  My red and blue-leaning tendencies make any commentary by me seem biased and retaliatory.  I’d rather others with less partisanship than I lead the charge here.  That’s why Ive asked a few well known gentlemen who bear resemblance to the Alabama fan above to comment in my stead…

johnnyJohnny Lawrence, Korbra Kai Dojo:

I had a really difficult time listening to what he was saying. Those hand movements were really distracting.  And as you know, unnecessary bodily gyrations have been a problem for me in the past.


zackZack Morris, Bayside High School:

Im not sure an Alabama fan should be talking about anyone else as “white trash”.  I dated Tori, so I know white trash when I see it.

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teddybeckerstedTeddy Beckersted, Heir to the Beckersted lobster fortune:

A refined gentleman from Nantucket knows better than to wear pink pastels after Regatta season…and to never loan your car keys to Bobcat Goldthwait.


mitchell_goosen

Mitchell Goosen, surfer, roller blader, stuck in Cincinnati:

Brah, Julio Jones is nothing until he beats me down Devil’s Backbone.


gregtollanGreg Tolan, High School Cafeteria bully:

No script and poor  and unfunny ad lib!?  This guy deserves a beating…or a full table of cafeteria food poured in his lap.


john-parker-wilson-pic1

John Parker Wilson, former Alabama quarterback:

Say what you will, but that guys hair looks amazing.

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sandyduncan

Sandy Duncan, Television star, owner of a glass eye:

Oh, this is such bullshit.  Why am I being included in this?!

Categories: Alabama Football · Nostalgia · Ole Miss Football
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