Welcome to the FROZEN tundra of FedEx field.

Actually by far the least punctual stadium in the National Football league (unless you LOVE concrete spaces), yet all was well as it hosted thousands of Katrina Refugees / Bourbon Engulfers / Who Dats / Cajun bastards for an American Football match for the ages.  The Saints and their fans stomped and cursed and barely came out alive and ready for a work day Monday as we all struggled through a brutally cold early afternoon somewhere in Maryland.

But of course thanks to my fellow Beltwayers for being such fantastical hosts (i.e. not calling the cops on us, that is really all it takes), 12-0 did not come as easy as expected….

Taught in pre-school of their inherent insanity, Saints fans know they drink way too much before ten in the morning and thus they shouldn’t drive from Georgetown to Landover, Maryland without hiring a heated bus and escort. And here we find ourselves… this is true foresight.

Breakfast. 10Am. BOOSh. You’ve been there. DO NOT YOU DARE TO JUDGE.

“Fareast Market.” That is Far East Anacostia. Not the edge of Japan. I can see how you could be confused.

$7.99 for something. Unfortunately the store was closed. But the barrel of ether out front was free.

Hi Mini-Santa you look $&%ing cold. And the guy sitting in his car waiting to kidnap the woman who lives in your home looks way warm. Bless short cuts through Anacostia to NFL stadiums.

Hail to the Redskins. Hail to your diesel school bus of terror.

Saints Nation slowly works it way outside of it’s comfort zone to frighten Redskins Nation.

Nike Pro-Combat Gloves. Catching footballs, meh, holding on to beer cans? MONEY.

11 AM? Too much time in a bus? You can catch up… You can rebuild your tolerance, make it weaker. You can SHOTGUN. SHOTGUN. SHOTGUN.

DC Favorites the BUSH twins. Am I right or am I right?

What is this a shanty town? No. It is a Redskins tailgate with a flaming barrel. The slums in a Batman movie called, they want their aesthetics back.

Saints fans fit right in the shanty town.

Red Beans and Rice. Tell me you can do better at your tailgate. Yeah. You lie.

Who Dat. Who Dat. Who dat gonna puke in the foreground of my photo.

He said he got that shirt custom made. Who are you to dispute?

Summed up better than I ever could in the comments by Gerry Dorsey: “I just got a headache merely by LOOKING at that bottle of Pearson’s. why does that girl hate her stomach/liver/brain so much??” Why indeed Gerry. Why. In. Deed.

Saints Cape/Blanket, loses points for it not being a Slanket.

Got to respect Burgundy on Burgundy Sweat Suit.

I think she had a speaking role in The Lord of The Rings. Or was it Deadwood?

No seriously. This is sitting from the seat I purchased on stubhub.com. Yes the ticket warned obstructed view. Yes I only paid $35 for it. BUT still. Dan Snyder and the freaking entire NFL should be ASHAMED for selling such a seat to normal human beings. Seriously. Seriously. Look at that. We only had 1/4th  view of the field. 1/5th. 1/6th. Boooooo. I’ve never felt so violated in my life.

Just to reiterate. And this is after moving over a few seats…

WHO DAT. Who Dat, who dat think they can actually watch a football game from here?

Dome Patrol ’92. The only year the entire Dome Patrol made the Pro Bowl.

SKINS blanket CAPE. I only wish she had fought the SAINTS blanket CAPE guy. Then the war would hath truly been settled.

Orange hair wig. Skins fan or Diners and Drive-ins host on the food network fan?

GIVE ME BACK MY BASEBALL BEN STILLER!

Casino security.

Frozen journey home.

Back to the shanty town barrel heat.

Journey back to D.C. From what I recall.

Who Dat’ 12-0 after a hard fought battle. I need a nap now. Keep on keeping warm with your flaming barrels people. Until next time…