Excessively tall Arkansas Quarterback Ryan Mallett is out 3 to 4 months after breaking his foot in off season conditioning drills Wednesday, or so the athletic training staff at Arkansas would have you believe.

Sources have indicated to FOTP that, in fact, Mallett was injured in a horrible employee lounge mishap at a lavish California beach resort.   The story goes that Mallett was recently vacationing in Malibu when approached on the beach by an enterprising young man inquiring about his height and athletic prowess.  FOTP has obtained a picture of the individual in question.

Individual is left, who has also reportedly wagered ownership of a classic Mustang with the owner of the Malibu Sands on the outcome of the match.

The individual allegedly coerced Mallett to pose as an employee of the Malibu Sands Beach Club in order to participate in the Club’s annual volleyball game match with, North Beach Club, a rival establishment on the same Malibu beach.  Mallett, taking his future NFL value into consideration, was reluctant to join, but was additionally enticed to go along with the plan by, another employee of the Malibu Sands… this woman…

Wowed by her charm and comely appearance in a one piece bathing suit, Mallett finally assented to the plan and joined the staff at the club.  Ill fitting staff shirt aside, Mallett was welcomed onto the Malibu Sands staff and was in their employ for, seemingly, the singular reason to participate in the upcoming volleyball grudge match.

Mallet’s injury occurred in the days leading up to the match when a fellow employee clumsily dropped a large water jug on Mallet’s foot, breaking several bones.

When reached for comment, Leon Carosi, owner of the Malibu Sands, had this to say, “Yes Ryan Mallett was an employee here t the Malibu Sands, and yes, he was injured during that employ.  I feel bad for the people at Arkansas but I’ve got a business to run here, so I wont be speaking any further on the matter.”

While Arkansas is hopeful that Mallett will be fine for the Fall, the Malibu Sands isn’t so optimistic that Mallett with be avaliable for the volleyball match with North Beach.

“We are moving forward as if Mr. Mallett will not be available to us.  The Malibu Sands is still very confident in it’s team, as you know, we also employ A.C. Slater, who as everyone in the greater Los Angeles area, is a multi-time All State performer in every varsity sport his school has to offer.  So yes, we still like our chances,” said Stacey Carosi, daughter to the Malibu Sands owner.

[Sidenote:  Gary (the tall guy) from that SBTB episodes real name is Dark Sevier.  Why they didn't use his real name in that episode is beyond me, because that's one badass name.  Dark Fucking Sevier.]