Another Ackbar for Ole Miss?

There has been much debate and consternation over the endorsement by many in the student body and by several blogs, including, of course, this one, of Admiral Ackbar, leader of the Rebel Alliance, as a potential on-field replacement mascot for the defunct Colonel Reb.  Many fans, media outlets, and even George Lucas himself think this is all just a nice joke of a sidebar to the whole mascot debate and eventual selection.  I can see why they’d think that.  I mean, its an 8 foot squid who’s only identifiable leadership quality is his ability to recognize traps.  That’s not alot to go on.  I understand that they may need a little bit more substance and body of work behind their mascot.  Conversely,  pro-Admiral camps would point to his loyalty to the Rebel cause and how such loyalty would serve the Rebel nation in Oxford well.  An evenly sided debate indeed.

But is there a way to appease both parties?  Find some beacon that both parties can set a course toward.  Something that takes into consideration those characteristics that both pro and anti Ackbar supporters hold dear.  There is a solution.  A larger than life individual, a leader of men, a competitor, a statesman with international flair…an Ackbar from a different line, but from the same rebellious ideals…

Skandor Ackbar, WCCW Manager

Pros:

• Commonly referred to as “The General”.  So you get to keep the military theme that the Colonel left behind plus a General just sounds a little tougher than Admiral when engaging in land-based assault.
• Managed “Devastation Inc.”, while not the greatest wrestling stable name ever, it does indicate the ability to remain organized and businesslike amidst general chaos…and if that’s not what Ole Miss athletics needs, I don’t know what it does.
• Would often take to insulting his opponents with name-calling and school yard insults. So he’ll fit in just fine during SEC media days.
• Managed the following: Abdullah the Butcher, Cactus Jack, Dr. Death, Kamala the Ugandan Giant, King King Bundy, and the One Man Gang…so dealing with Houston Nutt should be no big deal.
• Is Arab.  A fine progressive University like Ole Miss welcomes an outsider into the fold and embraces him whole heartedly…those are the kinds of things Sandra Bullock movies are made of, people!
• Was known to throw fireballs at opponents when the referee wasn’t looking.  Ole Miss is your SEC leader in daytime fireworks, so this is a natural fit.

Cons:

• Name translates to mean “Alexander the Great”.  Yeah I saw that movie with Colin Ferrel and Jared Leto…really really gay.
• May or may not have been directly or indirectly responsible for killing off nearly the entire Von Erich family.  There is no proof or reason to believe either way on this, but it just seems like something Bill Watts would have come up with.
• Smokes cigars at ringside, Vaught Hemingway is a smoke-free facility…in theory at least.
• Would probably insist that the LSU game be played under Lumberjack match rules.
• Would come on the field with a towel on his head…and that’s already Hal Mumme’s gimmick.