Interview about fallen trees from storm damage leads to arrest for public nudity…Arkansas

Eons from now, when humanity is wiped from this planet by a large meteor, or a new ice age, or some other extinction level event that has been portrayed in a movie starring Morgan Freeman,  whatever life form that comes to inhabit this planet after we’re gone will find the above footage.  This will serve as the central point of reference for them in understanding the area of the world once known in the time of man as Arkansas.  It will be a completely accurate portrayal.

Eighty-three-year-old Eva Halpain and her partner John Manassel were in the midst of explaining to a local TV news crew how a falling tree had destroyed their house during a storm when their eyes suddenly widened.

‘What is this out there that we got?’ John asked, peering out to the end of the driveway.

What they had, in fact, was a man who had just emerged from the woods stark naked. He was walking nonchalantly down the road with his hand over his genitals.

It was there that the interview with KARK-TV came to a screeching halt as the shocked elderly couple stared at the man.

‘Do you know him? Jim, do you know this gentleman?’ Mr Manassel called to Eva’s son.

‘Nope, not at all,’ he replied.

‘I oughtta go out there and start an ass kicking contest,’ the elderly man replied.

Police say the man, Nathaniel Koba, 22, was high on drugs when he walked out of the woods.

‘I have a naked man standing out in the middle of the damn street with his privates in his hands just standing out there,’ Jim Halpain can be heard telling the a police dispatcher.

‘That’s right, ma’am buck naked. No shoes, no socks or anything.’

The three Benton, Arkansas, residents marveled as Koba paced up and down the road.

‘No ma’am, I don’t know. I don’t wanna get close to him,’ Mr Halpain says.

Eventually, a sheriff’s deputy arrived and arrested the man, who had decided to sit in the middle of the rural street.

Ms Halpain had been telling the KARK-TV about how her life had been saved by the University of Arkansas Razorbacks football team because she was away watching the game the night a massive tree fell through her living room.

She and Mr Manassel said they had lost nearly everything in the disaster.

Koba was charged with public intoxication and indecent exposure as a result of his revealing encounter with the elderly couple.

Saturday night, KARK told you about a house destroyed by a fallen tree in Benton Saturday night.

Now get this — deputies were called to that same house this afternoon, all while our camera was rolling. But the call wasn’t storm related.

The call sounded something like this: “I have a naked man standing out in of the middle of the d*** street.”

Neighbors called 911 pretty disturbed by the fact that a man simply walked out of the woods — completely naked.

One of those neighbors tried to go talk to him. The man didn’t appear to be in any distress. He was casually and non-chalantly standing in the street.

He was covering himself but didn’t appear to be doing anything vulgar.

Eventually, he walked down the street and was greeted by a Sheriff’s deputy who, after putting on some gloves, arrested him.

The man clearly didn’t have any ID on him, so it took deputies a while to figure out who he was.

But we now know he’s 22-year-old Nathaniel Koba. He’s being held tonight in the Saline County Jail on Indecent Exposure and Public Intoxication charges. Deputies believe he was doing drugs.

“I oughtta go out there and start an ass kicking contest” is the new “Get Your Piss Hot”.  Adjust your catchy tee shirts accordingly.