Rick Muscles thinks LSU is good, good, good, so-o-ho good.  The above band, not so much.

Reviewing the SEC West based only on the weekend and my fickle (and muscular) eye.

1. Mississippi State. The bulldogs got a lot of monkeys off their Saturday.  And let’s not kid ourselves, State has been the Charleton Heston of the West since the NCAA confiscated Jackie Sherril’s gunny sack of unmarked bills.  Tyler Russell looked like he might live up to the hype and Johnathan Banks looked like the best defensive player in the West.  Let’s nickname him the “Mint Badger!”

2. LSU completely met expectations against UDubb.  Zach Roethlisberger really bounced back from his concussion and managed the game well.  By the way, sure the tiger at practice was cool but it only generated 3 points for the Huskies.  Next time Washington should just play Better than Ezra on repeat to send Huskies into a rage.  Lord knows Ezra makes my ears bleed.

3. Ole Miss The Rebs had a huge home win against the UTEP Miners.  Last Spring, Bo Wallace was involved in a vicious beat down at a frat party.  Despite making it clear he’s the dumbest QB in the West, Wallace put the starting job in a strangle hold.  The good ole boy accounted for 4 TDs.  Also, props to the Rebel defense for hemming up Mike Price’s offense.  Although clearly a sex freak, Price and his offense appeared impotent.

4 . Bama  AJ McCarron lit up the Hill Toppers so bad it appears the Big Red (the Topper’s mascot) has a “Bama Boy” tattoo on his butt.  Saban stated the Tide looked sloppy but if Brooklyn Decker played nickel back for the Tide, he’d call her boobs sloppy.  So….whatever.

5. Texas A&M  New conference, new coach and same problem.  Once again, TAMU blows a 2nd half lead against an unproven Florida team.  The Aggies appear to have the stamina of Chris Christie after a pack of  Newports and a gallon of boxed wine. The Ags young QB did look good but they’ll have to get tougher in the second half if they’re gonna make a dent in our league.

6. Auburn Kiel Frazier played QB like Limp Bizkit made music.  Terrible.  He accounted for 4 turnovers – as many teeth in Chizik’s mouth. More troubling, the team seemed to give up  in 3rd quarter.  You might not like Auburn (I certainly do not) but they haven’t given up in a game like that since Terry Bowden’s red puffy ass walked out on ‘em. The Tiger Offense quit on that game like I quit the sauce in 2011.

7. Arkansas Bama fans know the embarrassment of losing to the War Hawks but Tide was not ranked in the top 10 when that shit went down.  Saturday night, the War Hawks were John L Smith’s blonde on a motorcycle and ULM might cost him his job.  It appears Tyler Wilson’s injury report is hidden along w/ Obama’s birth certificate, so we have no clue how bad he’s hurt.  Some pundits are criticizing Smith for not shaking the coach of ULM’s hand but Smith owes him money- understandable.