Mothers and Fathers of the greater Dallas/Ft. Worth area, consider this fair warning…lock your daughters away and throw away the key because when Houston Dale breaks out the white jumpsuit and and croons about the specialness of the Dexter McClusters and Jevan Sneads of the world while wiggling those lethal hips, no one is safe, no one.

[Pic via ATTCottonBowl Twitter]

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A LSU/Ole Miss Hate Week edition of FOTP Live and Loud airs tonight at 9 PM CST.  Our guest will be Steven Godfrey, Ole Miss legend, proprietor of The Godfrey Show, professional wrestling aficionado, Atlanta Falcons apologist, Lucy Pinder stalker, and noted coonass hater.  Topics to include pretty much everything to do with this weekend’s match-up in Oxford.  Do join us, won’t you.

You can work up quite a thirst when living up to the inflated hype of a preseason Top 10 ranking and the inevitable letdown that was to follow.  May we recommend grabbing a bottle of slightly chilled, sparkling Wild Rebel Water that may or may not have been invented by Danny Nutt, Gus Malzahn, David Lee, or some nameless sap back in the 30′s who played in an era when the forward pass was considered witchcraft and punishable by public flogging. 

If the cooling thirst quenching goodness of the high quality H2O isn’t enough for you, if you require some sort of  pinky-in-the-air-while-drinking type of bottle that is usually only reserved for Figi, Evian, and some other Frenchy water, rest easy fancy pants, Hooten Dale has got you covered…

Drink up BROTHA!

“I would’ve yelled out, ‘Hey I think I’m luckier, I don’t have Lou Gehrigs disease!’,…ya know, end the movie on a laugh” – Ron Bennington

Look for the post of the audio sometime midday. Ridicule my public speaking voice accordingly.

UPDATE:  The audio is up!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jizxdTD1nZQ

Some UGA fans choose the traditional tailgating experience. Apparently, others like to break out in group line dances (at least they aren’t throwing trash everywhere, though they’re still killing the grass). Part 2 is after the jump…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7bn24cPqU0

We can’t. And your wedding will go down in the history books as: “The wedding that made us miss INSERT GAME.”

We’re sure you have a story to tell youself so head on over to Fall Weddings Suck and let your black heart loose to tell us how you really feel. There are plenty of epic tales on there already, simply add yours to the mix…

And read a few of our favorite entries after the jump:

Simon	Saturday, 9/27/08, 10:15 PM
	First off, let me say that I’m Chinese, but love watching sports as much as ACC Basketball fans and SEC football fans. Second off, I’m Chinese and that’s a freaking problem. My relatives prefer watching badminton and ping pong and any other stupid sport in the Olympics that no one gives a damn about. My family tree does not know the difference between the rice they eat at dinner and Jerry Rice, the greatest WR in NFL history. Anyways, my cousin got married to some white guy on the day of the 2002 NLCS. Shouldn’t the white guy have said something to not interfere with baseball postseason? Anyways, I had bleacher tickets to game 4 and had planned to go with my best friend, his brother and his dad. I had plans to go to the game, but my parents would not let me go and instead I was stuck at the wedding. I did the next best thing and wore an ear piece with Jon Miller calling the game. (Thank you Jon!) After a JT Snow double to tie the game, I erupted and the white guy’s relatives were celebrating with me. Fast forward to the 8th inning, Benito Santiago hit a 2 run homer to give SF a 4-2 lead. Another eruption. My uncle (cousin’s father) told me to pipe down. (Like that was going to happen.) Robb Nen, Giants’ closer, got into a jam in the 9th. After striking out JD Drew to end the game, I went nuts for the next five minutes and the white guy’s relatives celebrated with me. The white guy’s guests understood the magnitude and significance of the playoff run. My cousin’s guests and relatives had no clue what the hell was going on. Well guess what, screw them! And fuck off for scheduling a FALL WEDDING! PAYBACK’S A BITCH NOW THAT MY COUSIN AND WHITE GUY ARE DIVORCED! Sadly, the Giants did not win the World Series!
	From:	San Francisco
	What is the best game you missed because of a sucky wedding?  Game 4 of the 2002 National League Championship Series (Cardinals at Giants)

If you haven’t already head over there and share your story with the world…

http://www.fallweddingssuck.com/

• The best Gameday signs from the weekend [Busted Coverage]
• The worst in Week 3 announcing [Awful Announcing]
• Florida SAEs welcome Layla Kiffin to Gainesville [Clay Travis]
• Gushing over Tyrod Taylor’s amazing comeback [CGB]
• Summing up Florida/Tennessee [EDSBS]
• Tebow’s poor performance can be blmaed on the Bible, totally [GatorFootballTalk]
• Breaking down the Ole Miss/SELA scrimmage [RCR]
• What we learned in the SEC over the weekend [Team Speed Kills]
• Stealing beer at a Baylor tailgate…the most shocking part of the story?…theres beer at a Baylor tailgate [SbB]
• This almost makes me want to buy tickets to a WKU game…almost [The Godfrey Show]
• Chad Ocho Cinco’s Lambeau Leap was no well received by the locals [Deadspin]
• Sheldon Brown maybe should have worn that mask the whole game [700 Level]
• Brandon Stockley’s miracle catch…if it was on Tecmo Bowl [Sprotress of Blogitude]
• Delonte West is the Desperado [Rumors & Rants]
• A mildly retarded boy helps a girl find her dog [Tirico Suave]

Lebron James and Britney Spears have exactly one thing in common. No Ring. – Ron Bennington

[HT: ASSeeninShreveport]