Every week the the degenerate gamblers who run this site attempt to pick games for the upcoming college football weekend. We are usually completely and totally wrong, blinded by team allegiance, alumni status, and probably a 5th of Makers. That being the case, we’ve enlisted help of professionals…not for the Makers problem, but for the gambling one. The Geek Sheet experts have decided to set us all straight this season. They’ll be here to give you the winners, blow your mind with high level statistical analysis, and shamelessly plug their own site…which is something we have great admiration for. Be sure to check out their site for more. Now, on to the picks…

Records

The Juice: 33-21-1

Mike Medallion: 19-35-1

Bunkie Perkins: 27-27-1

The Geek: 25-29-1

LSU +3 @ Ole Miss

The Juice: LSU. LSU losing at home at the half last week to LA TECH? Ole Miss putting it all together and dominating a tough Tennessee team. This seems like a lock, but Ole Miss hasn’t been able to put together two good games in a row all year and LSU still has 87 four and five star recruits on their roster. A Vegas trap? Me thinks so. Corndogs. Boosh.

Mike Medallion: Ole Miss. In honor of The Blind Side opening this weekend.

Bunkie Perkins: Ole Miss.  Ole Miss went into Tiger Stadium last year and skull drug LSU.  This year’s Rebel team is not as good, but neither is LSU.  Jordan Jefferson starts for the Tigers but his immobility thanks to a bum ankle gets him killed by a superior Ole miss D-line.  Enter Jarret Lee…and well, we all know how that ends.

The Geek: Ole Miss. How LSU is still a top 10 team is beyond me.  Even w/ Jefferson and Scott they were just average on O, and would struggle vs a very good Ole Miss D…remove Scott and maybe even Jefferson and it will be a long day for the hot dogs on a stick. LSU 19, Ole Miss 27

Uk +7 ½ @ UGA

TJ: UK. I’m sorry UGA VII, bless your ugly bulldog face in the kennel in the sky. I just don’t think the Dawgs are worth a damn. Lucky for them last weekend neither is Auburn.

MM: UGA. I had 19 wins last week. I have 19 wins this week. How much confidence do I have in this pick? None.

BP: Georgia.  Playing for their fallen pooch, but more importantly, playing for a trip to Shreveport.  The Dog’s win going away.

The Geek: UGA. The majority of our math is on UGA, and some by a fairly decent margin (projecting 15-17 pt wins); however we a couple indicators showing an outright UK W, which will keep us on the sidelines although I suspect the Dawgs will pull away late. Uk 21, UGA 31

Ohio St. -12 @ Michigan

TJ. OSU. Rich Rod could have been the patron Saint of the state of West Virginia. Soon he may not even be employed in the state of Michigan. Honestly I’m not sure which is better.

MM. OSU. Rich Rod is about as bad as I am at making picks each week.

BP: Michigan. For no other reason than 12 is alot of points to give up at home in a rivalry game.  An improbable win by Michigan this weekend would also make RichRod’s job security a little stronger.

The Geek: Michigan. I don’t have any real good reason for this one as  our math is pretty sideways, but I don’t see Tressell Ball routing big blue at home when Michigan projects 21+ in every model…god help Richie Rod if the Buckeyes dot them for 35 which is what they’ll need for a cover given our projections for Michigan. Ohio St. 30 @ Michigan 21

Oregon -5 @ Zona

TJ: Oregon. Wut?

MM: Oregon. Once again, another PAC-10 game?

BP: Zona.  What game would you people have me choose instead?  Arkansas/State?  Florida or Bama playing nobodies?  As a peace offering, enjoy an Oregon cheerleader photoshoot.

The Geek: Oregon. Our math calls for a 32.75-26 Oregon win so have fun if you want any piece of this…there isn’t any one model we use that shows either team covering by more than 2…in a coin flipping contest we’ll go with the Ducks. Oregon 33  @ Zona 26

BONUS PICKS

Vanderbilt (+17) @ Tennessee

TJ: Tennessee. Tennessee is pissed after letting Tiny Dexter garner 10,000 all purpose yards in one game. Vandy has no Dexters. Vandy is also being back to sucky Vandy of old and Tennessee is at home and owes them one. Vols, Bitch Big assuming no players are arrested between now and then.

Rutgers (-8.5) @ Syracuse

MM. Rutgers. When all else fails, pick the team playing Syracuse.

Arkansas -11 v. Miss. State

BP: Arkansas.  State i limping to the end of the season and Arkansas is making a push for the Cotton Bowl.  Little ARock will be jumpin’ (as much as Little Rock can be, I guess) as the Hogs put 40+ on the Bullies.

Hawaii 31, SJSU 20

This is one of our recommended plays for the week.  Despite being just 33-36-2 this year we have a lifetime record (5 years) of 63% (242-145-8), including 68% (52-24-1) last year!    We have 8 recommended plays on Saturday (including Hawaii).  To see our analysis of the Hawaii game, click here.  We usually have 3-5 games a week we take a very hard look at but decided to pass on.  You can sign up to receive these plays free of charge by visiting our website, www.thegeeksheetsports.com

For the most part, it looks like a bunch of dudes with a few courageous girls (like these three) splashing around in a freezing pond in Ohio. But it has been known to generate some quite noteworthy photos. So far, nothing too exciting has come out from this year’s jump. Even Busted Coverage’s “coverage” hasn’t generated anything yet, but keep checking there and here because something’s bound to come up later today or tomorrow.

Photo Gallery and Videos (of what we’ve found so far) after the jump…

The season is winding down but the LOLZ just keep on coming…

UConn @ Notre Dame 2:30 NBC

Vandy @ Tennessee 7 PM ESPNU

Cal @ Stanford 7:30 Versus

LSU @ Ole Miss 2:30 CBS

Ohio St. @ Michigan Noon ABC

OU at Texas Tech 12:30 FSN

ESPN

I’ll be making another appearance on The Morning Vent in Mississippi’s capitol city Wednesday morning at 9 with sports radio host savants Kev and Jay. Potential topics to include the race for Shreveport, LSU/Ole Miss, and how Sandra Bullock was able to save a large black man from imminent ruin.

As you can see by the comment section in our post on Nike’s Pro-Combat line, there is A LOT of interest in the launch of these new uniforms. And to give each take a fair shake we’ll try to feature each as Nike releases Hi-Res previews of the program’s 10 teams. Here we have The U known more properly to most as The University of Miami.

Nike designers immersed themselves in University of Miami history and lore to bring inspirational cues to the look and direction of the Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

Miami’s new uniforms are “All About The U” and the school’s proud football legacy. Graphics on both the jersey and pant wrap around to the back, representing the “everybody is behind me” speed of the team.

“THE U” is embroidered on the jersey’s inner collar as well as on the cuff of the Nike Vapor Trail 2.0 gloves. The split colors on the jersey numbers for the first time mirror the traditional split “U” on the Hurricanes helmet.

What do you think? Randy Shannon or Butch Davis?

A LSU/Ole Miss Hate Week edition of FOTP Live and Loud airs tonight at 9 PM CST.  Our guest will be Steven Godfrey, Ole Miss legend, proprietor of The Godfrey Show, professional wrestling aficionado, Atlanta Falcons apologist, Lucy Pinder stalker, and noted coonass hater.  Topics to include pretty much everything to do with this weekend’s match-up in Oxford.  Do join us, won’t you.

Shreveport…when you gotta go, you gotta go

There are very few things more disheartening among SEC than the prospects of spending the bowl season at the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana . But a mediocre season and an 8th place finish in the toughest conferences in the land will get you some nice parting gifts and an all expenses paid trip to the Port City. Teams and fans alike are sure to enjoy the oppressive heat, street violence, and…hey look, casinos! But this year it means even more as the shamefully proud Indy Bowl is cutting ties with both the SEC and Big 12, instead choosing to disappoint a whole new batch of fans from the ACC and Mountain West in the coming years. So, its time to get sentimental people! Its the last run in Shreveport for the SEC, so lets make it count! Time to cash in those free Jack Binion’s Horseshoe buffet vouchers before its too late! And to commemorate this last year, every week FOTP will be taking a look at which SEC teams have the best chance of going bowling in East Texas the third most glamorous city in the Bayou State.

1.  South Carolina (6-5, 3-5) Spurrier just might as well buy a house in Northwest Louisiana.  As has been par for the course for Darth Visor for the past few seasons, November proves to be unkind.  His teams continue to end each season with a firey plane crash that leaves no survivors…thankfully, I believe those flight vouchers are still redeemable for Shreveport Regional Airport flights.  Three straight conference losses are to blame for the Cocks out-of-nowhere rise to the top of our poll. 

2.  Kentucky (6-4, 2-4) and Georgia (6-4, 4-3) Independence Bowl officials making the trip to this game should plan on wearing their slacks that have those convenient elastic waists, because they should anticipate an embarrassment of riches and possibly some delicious prime rib being laid at their feet by both of these schools over the weekend.  It wont be so much a “please pick us” offering as it will be a blood sacrifice to the selection committee to spare the wrath of the Port City and passover their school for their opponent instead.  Lambs blood over the door to the AD’s suite couldn’t hurt either.

4.  Tennessee (5-5, 2-4)  Its a shame that Lane Kiffin had to dismiss those players involved in the attempted robbery from last week, those types of skills would be greatly appreciated in Shreveport, especially in those neighborhoods right outside of Independence Stadium.  Disappointment aside, UT has some winable games left with Kentucky and Vandy, but they have to find someone other than Eric Berry who can make a tackle.

5.  Auburn (7-4, 3-4)  Losers of 4 of their last 6, Auburn comes limping in to the Iron Bowl after a tough loss at Georgia.  Look for the Tigers to give Bama a competitive final test before they head to Atlanta, but a loss to the Tide makes them fair game for a bowl and associated festivities that may or may nort involve a comedy experience like no other (Oooh look, Mike Epps!).

Out of the Poll this week: Ole Miss, Mississippi State, Arkansas

Other receiving votes: Arkansas, Ole Miss, Meth labs, Mayor Cedric Glover’s thyroid condition

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The hatin’ is thick over at the Cup.  Corndog and herpes jokes to be plentiful.  FOTP, of course, will be headed up to Oxford for all the Magnolia Bowl activities.  We never miss an opportunity to see the influx of purple and gold jogging suits first hand.   And no, that pimp outfit does not make you awesome, or funny, or awesomely funny, douche.  Hate, hate, hate.

As you can see by the comment section in our post on Nike’s Pro-Combat line, there is A LOT of interest in the launch. And to give each take a fair shake we’ll try to feature the uniforms as Nike releases Hi-Res previews of the program’s 10 teams. Here we have the Sweater Vest’s own Ohio State Buckeyes.

Nike designers immersed themselves in Ohio State history and lore to bring inspirational cues to the look and direction of the Nike Pro Combat uniforms.

The uniform draws inspiration from the Buckeyes’ proud football tradition, particularly the teams of the 1950s. In 1954, Ohio State used a goal line stand to defeat Michigan en route to capturing the National Championship. To salute that victory of 55 years ago the Buckeyes are wearing all-white helmets with their clean-look uniforms.

The motto “BUCKEYE TRADITION” is embroidered on the inner collar of every Ohio State jersey collar as well as on the cuff of the Nike Vapor Trail 2.0 gloves.

What do the New Buckeyes do for you? Let us know in the comment section…

You see what you’ve done Cleveland.  I hope you’re happy Baltimore.  Your Monday Night suckfest has taken the purest of Kentucky’s flowers and sullied those virginal baby blues to the point that he is now entertaining the most prurient of (misspelled) visions rather than watch your programming.   If Kige is vulnerable, what hope do the rest of us have..what hope do the rest of us have.