Luke Poehlmann knows that nothing gets Texas fans fired up like a mullet man waiving a towel. The beard was a nice touch too.

We use the same joke as the fat middle-aged data entry clerk in your office when you ask her how her day is going (even though you really don’t care) to bring you our favorite links from the weekend…

• Bama’s #1 fan, dejected by the realization of his team’s own mortality.
• Rey Maualuga gets to know Erin Andrews
• Kige Ramseyhas a better throwing motion than Tim Tebow.
• The most awesome Tim Tebow related music video you’ll see all day.
• Still feelin’ whooly about that Cotton Bowl win.
• Mike Leach’s 60 Minutes interview, we anticipate the Houston Nutt follow up expose’.
• SEC radio host, going to the hoosegow.
• OU corners, tugging on Superman’s cape, so unwise.
• Woman of the Week:  Crystal Driggers.  Seriously, we would kick your confused, Alzheimer’s riddled grandmother down a flight of metal stairs and not even look back to see if she landed upright for this woman.  She is the end all be all in our book.  This is not up for debate.  Plenty more over at SportsbyBrooks.
• And finally, I’ll take a moment for myself, thanks.

The last Cotton Bowl to be played at the Fair grounds in Dallas should be enough to motivate us to make the trip over to Dallas for the New Year.  Throw in the confluence of crazy which occured with Mike Leach and Houston Nutt on the sidelines and you had us at the first “Giggity”.  We braved two hour pregame traffic jams, sketchy downtown Dallas neighborhoods, and the mysterious attraction of confectionary fair food to bring you the following visual homage…

We are Live from the 2009 Cotton Bowl Classic, where clearly crowd control and traffic flow are of the highest priorities

Fans of the Landsharks made the trip…

As did Santa, after a holiday season that clearly took its toll…or maybe he’s just a big Kevin Smith fan.

Ole Miss fans, wearing their Sunday best.

Pregame, the Kilgore Rangerettes do the forbidden Ladder Dance of Love

The Texas Tech Bell ringer, upholding the tradition of being mistaken for a public masturbator

Ole Miss halftime shows…

…your daytime fireworks innovators.

Big 12 defense…on display in their own red zone most of the day

What overkill looks like

Our kind of victory celebration

You win if you had “special” or “one heartbeat” in the postgame speech pool.

CWAB party?  I’m there young squire.

Rebel fans, winning in all phases Friday

The Ole Miss players werent the only one’s setting records at the Cotton Bowl on Friday, it seems the Ole Miss fans, immediately after their team’s pasting of #7 ranked Texas Tech Red Raiders, took to the watering holes of the greater Dallas Metro Area to set a few historic marks of their own.  The Atrium Bar at the Hyatt, one of the Ole Miss fan hotels, reported that victorious Ole Miss faithful went all Wild Rebel on the bar and set a record for money spent on booze in one night, the grand  bar tab total coming to a little over $29,000.  That record came two days after those same fans tied the one night record by dropping $26,000 at the bar on New Years and, not to be a fan base to rest on their laurels, dropped an additional $27, 000 the night before the game.  The Atrium Bar has been open for 30 years.

[HT: OMSpirit, Mayor Thew]

He’s gone, gone, gone. Off to the land of milk and honey and millions of dollars…and VIP access to strip clubs. Though, we’re sure it’s typical for any college football player declaring for the NFL draft to release his “official” statement through a lawyer. Then again, not every player has to answer questions from the state attorney general. Wonder why he would have a lawyer considering he  ”did not talk to an agent prior to the Sugar Bowl and has not hired an agent.” Of course, considering that statement came from a lawyer, you have to wonder what the words “talk”, “agent”, “prior”, “hired”, and…”Sugar Bowl” really mean.

For some reason, the University of North Alabama decided that  5′7″ running backs are the key to a successful football program as the school hired the former Auburn head coach and ABC analyst Terry Bowden to be its head coach. So does this mean that Terry is finally off the Auburn payroll? Expect the UNA program to implode in about 4-5  years.

The Shrimpin’ Boat Captain has returned home to the swamp.  Fire up the pirogue and someone wake up Bruce Feldman,  because the Red Bull express is full steam ahead in search of the golden fleece-lined pelts of 5 star recruits  to lay at the feet of The Hat.  Orgeron, reportedly, will receive $600K a year and be allowed to wrestle Mike the Tiger whenever he wants.*

*may not be accurate

UPDATE: Entire story may not be accurate. The Shrimper to Rocky Top?

Cotton Bowl ‘09:  Two really awesome mustaches enter, one really awesome mustache leaves

There are lots of intriguing match-ups in this years Cotton Bowl.  You’ve got the Dread Pirate Leach with his vaunted death by 5 wide offense and general skullduggery versus Houston Dale and his moonshine jugs of homemade crazy.   There’s Graham Harrell and Michael “I never knew my roommate was a Derrick Ferreal-level coke dealer” Crabtree matching scoring drives with Jevan Snead and the dread-locked penny racer otherwise known as Dexter McCluster.  And theres the massive flesh pressing between Tech’s mammoth Oline, led by some guy who fancies himself the second coming of Smash from Demolition, and an Ole Miss defensive line, led by Merchant of Violence , Peria Jerry.  Yet, all of those are undercards to the facially follicalled fracas to be played out in the periphery between the father of Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead and Texas Tech’s blatant Yosemite Sam rip-off, Raider Red. 

We introduced you to Mr. Snead (we don’t know his first name, but for the purposes of this post, he will, from this point forward, be known as “Hoss Snead”) in the early throws of the season, unintentionally of course, but after some expert sleuthiness from our friends over at the Nafoom Board, we discovered that he was in fact the patriarch of the Snead household.  And so it was destiny that the two greatest mustaches in college football should meet in their respective season’s final game to determine who is the bigger total bad ass in this scenario.

The completely one-sided breakdown of the match-up after the jump.

Stats:

Raider Red:  6ft 5, 200 lbs

Hoss Snead:  5 ft and none of your goddamn business inches, 235 lbs (mostly beer weight)

Hometown:

Raider Red:  Lubbock

Hoss Snead:  Stephenville, vacation homes in Sturgis and Panama City

Physical Make-up

Raider Red:  Made of felt and other polyester-based materials

Hoss Snead:  Made from the spare body parts of dead cowboys and stunt men.

Odor:

Raider Red:  Smells like tortillas and sweaty gym socks

Hoss Snead:  Gun powder, horse manure, burning tires, flap jacks with maple syrup, and fear….when combined, it smells like awesome.

Weapon of Choice

Raider Red:  Two guns, always up

Hoss Snead:  Check that right pocket…spurs that double as a key chain.  One unkind word and he turns that frown upside down, permanently.

Prized Possession:

Raider Red:  Pirate ship in a bottle given to him by Mike Leach

Hoss Snead:  The dried impacted feces of John Wayne…also in a bottle.

Mode of Transport to the Game

Raider Red:  A courtesy car into the stadium

Hoss Snead:  In 1980 model Trans-Am followed convoy of 18 wheelers led by the ghost of Jerry Reed.

Pre-game snack

Raider Red:  Gatorade and a Powerbar, for energy during the game

Hoss Snead:  Pork Rinds and a wad of Levi Garrett, to keep him regular

Entrance Music

Raider Red:  Texas Tech fight song

Hoss Snead:  Ronnie Millsap and Metallica mash-up sung live by Lemmy from Motorhead on a flaming stage filled with cage dancers and live tigers.

Famous Quote:

Raider Red:  “Guns up!”

Hoss Snead:  “Well, you gonna pull them pistols or just whistle Dixie”

Well, the Medallion family survived its second Christmas Vacation in Las Vegas last week. As for me, I lost all my money, was entertained by some strippers at the Spearmint Rhino (yep, they’re open during Christmas), was propositioned by a hooker that had a Michael Strahan-gap tooth (probably useful in her profession), and realized that English was the third fourth most popular language spoken in Vegas during the week (hey, not everyone celebrates Christmas or is from the U.S. and A).

We traveled in style for the short trip from the airport to the MGM to the liquor store and then to the MGM on Tuesday.

 Of course, Jesus would win a slot tournament session on Christmas Day.

If you’ve been wondering what Pete Rose does with his time these days, he hawks his autograph on a wide variety of Hit King merchandise in a store in the Forum Shops at Caesar’s.

We had tons of great food at some top notch restaurants the entire week. One of the best was the junk food platter at Simon at Palms Place. A selection of homemade cookies, hostess cupcakes, carmel corn, fruit loop and rice krispie treats, and peppermint cotton candy.  And the best part, it was FREE (thanks to our waitress).

Not wanting to settle for just some fancy light show, the Fremont Street Experience has resorted to showing some rock band singing Born to Be Wild Born2BWild to attract tourists downtown.

When Bunkie and I were in Vegas back in August, they had to stop working on the City Center Project due to a lack of money. Apparently, money and financing is important when you are building an $8 Billion project. After all, Mexicans work for very little, but they don’t work for free. Though, I’m sure the money I lost at the MGM last week will go a long way to making sure one seventy-five of those Mexican workers gets paid next week .

 TAO was nice on Saturday night.

But crowded.

After riding in style in a limo from the airport on Tuesday, it was back to reality on the ride back to the airport on Sunday…airport shuttle. The best $6 I spent all week (except those small charges on my credit card at the Rhino).