Look closely and you can see the singles coming out
She won the hearts of many of us on signing day, what with the way she hung the names of yet another stellar recruiting class at Alabama just so. Imaginations ran wild as her houdstooth dress hung on for dear life as she stretched to place the names of recruits at the top of the big Bama board. She could have left it right there and become an instant signing day and internets legend…but then she bent down to wave hi to her fans…and, yeah. That one hurt all of us.
State linebacker prospect Cassonova McKinzy weighed all the aspects and investigated all the angles when making a decision on where he would play football next year. The choice came down to Auburn and Clemson, two schools that , it can be argued, are only differentiated by the fact that Clemson has a lake and Auburn doesn’t. But leave it to the discerning eye of Cassonova to point out the real difference in the two, and ultimately, the reason he chose Auburn over Clemson…the proximity to campus of Chick-Fil-A.
This is understandable, as I have been to both places and even spent summers at Clemson at the vaunted and sweater-vested Cliff Ellis basketball camp. At said camp, for over a week, campers, instead of dining at the many cafeterias on campus, were forced to eat every godforesaken meal at Hardees. To this day, I can;t look at roast beef without gagging. I blame Clemson…so good on you, Cassonova. Wise choice.
It’s a tradition that goes back on this ste for at least a year, maybe, two, but nevertheless, your Mormon Rock Overlords are here to not only to likely extoll the virtues of Joseph Smith and encourage you to vote for Mitt Romney, but also to usher in yet another exciting National Signing Day. Such questions as where will Dorial Beckham-Green go and at what point in Landon Collins’ announcement does his mother attack his girlfriend will be answered in the coming hours. Should be a crazy (horses) day. Updates, as they happen, to come below throughout the day.
Last stop for the conductor of the Train on NSD
UPDATE: Memphis DB Sheldon Dawson signs with Georgia as expected…Unexpectedly, JaQuay Williams goes with Auburn and I find out Don Cornelius is dead. Gonna be a weird day.
UPDATE: 4 star WR Bralon Addison turns on A&M and signs with Oregon.
UPDATE: Josh Harvey-Clemons makes clemonade (sorry for that), signs with Georgia.
UPDATE: Channing Ward and I’Tavius Mathers, as expected, got their paperwork in early to Ole Miss this morning.
UPDATE: Liggins paperwork is in at LSU, no news as to where his horrible necktie signed.
As you know, Signing Day looms tomorrow and several of the top prospects set to reveal their college choice. The next 24 hours or so promise to , at the very least, be full of surprises, ridiculous pomp and circumstance, and more actual use of an office fax machine in one day compared to the entire rest of the year. It’s a spectacle of the very best and worst aspects of college football recruiting condensed into a likely televised hat dance that may or may not also involve live animals and/or a marching band. The euphoric highs of landing a prize recruit, coupled with the “he totally got payed by X school” lows of losing the favorite blue chipper are just one of the many certainties of any signing day…here are a few others…
Dorial Green-Beckham will bring a live Tiger and Wild Hog onto the stage, symbolizing his choice between Mizzou and Arkansas. To indicate his decision, he will pull out a hunting knife and proceed to slaughter and skin the mascot of the school who will not be receiving his services. He will then ride off on the other animal for a celebratory dinner at Lambert’s.
Not to be outdone by Alabama’s Fax Cam Girl from last year’s signing day, Gene Chizik will hire girls from Wesley’s Booby Trap to serve as fax fetchers for the day. It will be a 3 camera shoot with angles from the floor, ceiling and midriff level. There may also be a pole and a DJ next to the fax machine pending Board of Trustees approval.
All reports indicate, that while there was a chorus of boos upon the decision being made, the angry mob stayed away from throwing things and cursing God and the assembly of Liggins family members. This civility aside, Liggins did provide one last troll as he walked out of the door to head to Baton Rouge.
Liggins to a radio host who says “were gonna beat you next year…”
Liggins: ”Gonna have to coach better.”
Hateful, accurate. Troll hard, young squire, troll hard.
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